How does your cousin feel about this? What is his status, pomo, or pomi? It's crazy the level to which a relative, especially a parent, will go to avoid association with a disfellowshipped son or daughter. I've been on the receiving end (almost exact experience as your cousin) and it sucks. I wasn't even shunned to that extreme, as my parents still talked to me and saw me, on occasion. Not having normal family relationships or communication, because of a religious policy, stemming from a youthful "indiscretion", hurts, and is mentally abusive. But the organization seems to have doubled down on their shunning in recent years, when that video came out in 2016, showing the mother, not even answering her phone, when her df daughter called.
2 things; 1. Does he think of going back, just to regain some sort of relationship with his family? 2. Is he stable and strong enough to realize that he made it this far without them, he doesn't need them, or the drama they insist on creating, in his life?
My heart goes out to him and his wife and child. What a waste of time it all is. When his father gets to the end of his life, he will be filled with regret, even if he's too stubborn to admit it, and his son, with hurt. At least when a parent dies, there is a physical reason you can no longer communicate. But all that time, 20 years pass, and you're completely capable of communication, able to share in your sons life, but you choose not to. Go out of your way not to. It hurts to think about it, and to remember.
How fucking selfish are they, his parents, trying to circumvent their son, in order to see their grandchild. Making their grandchild and daughter in law, pawns in their sick game of shunning. And yet I cant even be angry with parents for doing this, as they are conditioned and brainwashed into doing this, by the organization. Absolutely heart breaking.
I hope your cousin, and his wife, have a good, strong, loving, happy, life, and family. He deserves it.